Feeling Unwelcomed

I've been a North-Westerner for seven weeks now, but haven't found a regular pattern for Church yet. This is partly due to work, being away for two Sundays, and dating a Local Preacher who preaches at a number of churches.

Today I went to two churches, as Girlfriend was preaching twice. 10.30 was in the little chapel a minute from my bed. This is a lovely little place, I've been visiting it most of the time I've come to visit in the past, and it's where I'll be going if Girlfriend isn't around. It's small, generally older, but they have made me feel very welcome.

Then in the afternoon, we went to another chapel, about 20 minutes away (Girlfriend calls it 'rural just up the road'). Here I felt unwelcomed. I must stress the 'd', 'Unwelcomed' is different from 'Unwelcome', at least in my head. I think I suffered from what I'm going to term PPS (Preacher's Partner Syndrome). We were the first to arrive, beating the key by a good 15 minutes, and when others arrived, they spoke a lot to Girlfriend, who was preaching there for the first time, but I got a passing hello, that was it. I took my place on a pew, tentatively in case I was sat in 'Dear Old Ethel's pew'. And no-one spoke to me...

After the service, the congregation all spoke to Girlfriend, and had their weekly catch-ups. I stood on my own, trying to check Twitter, though there was no signal. I got a passing 'thank you' for my part in the prayers, and then we left. And I'm unlikely to go there again.

Now, I'm not the most outgoing person (that might actually surprise some of you, but I can fake it if I need to). I cannot start small talk with people I don't know, unless I have a reason to (such as introducing myself in a professional capacity and can talk about the One Programme and Methodist Action). But is it really my job to do that in a church I'm visiting? Should the emphasis be on me to go over and introduce myself?

The fact that I was barely spoken to has really put me off that church. They weren't horrible, and they didn't go out of their way to exclude me or make me feel like I wasn't welcome, i.e. I wasn't 'Unwelcome'. They just didn't welcome me, I was Unwelcomed.

I don't want to be too negative, there have been many times where I've visited a church and felt warmly welcomed, and cared about. A 18 months or so ago I visited a church in Exeter for a meeting in the afternoon. I had the morning free, so went to the Methodist Church, I arrived about half an hour before the service started, but was greeted with a smile and shown through to the Church. I was sat on my own, when the minister came over, sat next to me, introduced himself and we got chatting. I told him about the meeting I was going to later. At the beginning of the service, he welcomed me by name from the Pulpit, and asked the congregation to pray for my meeting. I felt so loved!

Today made me reflect on my actions after church. I don't feel I have a home church at the moment, and don't know who are regulars and who are visitors at the churches I am semi-regularly attending yet. But I'm going to do my best to at least say hello, and introduce myself to people who seem to be on the outside of the group, or are sat on their own.

I'm going to give you a challenge for next Sunday (or next time you are at a church service). Introduce yourself to the visitor in your midst, try and make them feel welcome. Trust me, it could make or break their day.

PS, has anyone else suffered from Preachers Partner Syndrome? Shall we set up a support group?

OPP Blog #3 - Training and the like

Last weekend was our second Connexional Training weekend. It was held at one of my favourite places, Crossways Centre, Yardley Hastings. Yardley is where we used to have our Youth Exec meetings back in 07/08 (that sounds such a long time ago!), and it was where I got to know the girl who I've know been going out with for just short of four years. So it has a special place in my heart. It was good being back, a slightly strange to not have the other Exec lot there. But I had an equally great bunch of people in my fellow OPPs. It was really good to see them all again, and see how everyone was doing in their projects, six or so weeks in.

It was also a great weekend of training, looking at topics such as Children’s Spirituality, Group Dynamics and Leadership, Small Group Facilitation and Listening Skills. I've just been for a meeting with one of the Directors of Methodist Action (my project) to find out about the history and context of the charity, and found myself subconsciously following the advice we were giving in listening, so I learned something! Another thing I found really interesting in the training was an element of reflection on personality types in groups. I am definitely a 'Talker', I am often vocal and not scared of speaking up in group situations. This isn't a bad thing per se, but it made me recognise that there I times where I should try and reign it in a little, and try and encourages others to speak. I'm going to try and work on this.

On a slightly boastful note, I brought honour to the North West region by winning the Yardley Hastings Kids Park Assault Course Race, though special mention goes to one of the Midlands OPPs, who was much more entertaining.

Within my local project, I have continued to visit projects and meet people. I have been at a few more Drop in Sessions, though I missed the one where some researchers from the BBC came to visit the Drop In at Lune St (Central) Methodist Church. The article can be seen here. I still have many projects to go and see, and have just fired off a few emails to try and sort these out. I'm also looking at spending some time with the NHS Homeless Mental Health Team, to get an idea of how other agencies work. I thought I would have a nice afternoon in Methodist Action Head Office  today, only to find that almost everyone is out in meetings today, so I'm sat in the kitchen catching up with a load of admin, secretly enjoying the lack of WiFi access and phone signal which is forcing me to be productive.

Other than OPPing, I have had a fairly busy few weeks. With 3Generate (Methodist Children and Youth Assembly) only a month away, I have been working on the session I'm facilitating, on Cohabitation. This has lead to some very interesting discussions about what people see as Cohabitation, and how some people view it. Like everything in life, it is definitely not a clear cut, black and white issues, but there are lots of grey areas (I almost typed, 'many shades of grey' maybe that would boost my search rating on Google). I also made to day trips to London, one for more 3Generate planning, and another to discuss the British Churches' response to the Kairos Palestine Document. I'll add some links at the bottom about this, but basically Kairos Palestine is a call to action from the Christian Churches in Palestine, challenging their brothers and sisters in Christ around the world to work for justice in Israel-Palestine. I have somehow ended up on the steering group that is writing the response to this, again, challenging churches to act. I felt quite overwhelmed in a room with the top dogs of a number of charities and organisations who knew an awful lot more than me.

I think I've rambled enough now, and I need to go and buy pizza for a youth group, if only I was at Pizza Hut today.

The Kairos Palestine Document

Kairos Palestine Britain and Ireland (The British and Irish response)

Holy Land Encounter (My reflection on my time in Israel/Palestine in May 2012) 

'Well you're not very religious then, are you'

As you may know, I've started a new job. Well, actually I've started two new jobs. As well my OPP adventures (which you can read about here) I have transferred with a well known pizza chain. As with all big chains, it is eerie being in a different store. It's strange and new, but also mostly the same. There are even some characters at the new place that remind me of people from my old one, very parallel universe-y.

My second shift in, and I met one of the deputy managers. He had heard that I was religious.

"Are you very religious?" he asked me. I asked him to clarify what he meant by that.

"Do you believe in the whole creation in 7 days thing?" I said that I didn't, that I believe that God's fingerprints are in evolution.

"Ok, do you believe in Homosexuality?" I followed with, "Well, you obviously believe it exists, but are you ok with it?" I told him that I was fine with it.

"Oh, well you're not very religious then, are you..." Now this got me thinking.

An (self confessed) atheist sees me as 'not very religious' because I'm not a Creationist or anti-homosexuality. Is this how 'religion' is seen by the world outside of the Church? Unfortunately, I think it is for many people. The fact that my other job is working with a homeless charity, offering support to those in need, doesn't play a part. Neither does the fact I try not to swear, go to church most weeks, and have a personal relationship with my God and my Saviour. Jesus didn't follow the strict dogma of the religious elites of the time. He worked of the Sabbath, healing and serving. He turned theological understandings of the scripture on its head. Maybe people of the time said Jesus wasn't very religious. (I must clarify, I am not claiming to be Jesus!)

It has been interesting following some of the media around the attempts to find a new Archbishop of Canterbury. I don't know much about it, but I know at some candidates are more conservative when it comes to women and homosexuality, others are more liberal. I don't know the theology of any of them. The world sees the issues in the church that often make the church look bad.

I think this is a challenge, and a great opportunity, for the Church. It's time we took what it really means to be Christians and get that message out. In the love and salvation of God, there is no Jew or Gentile, no rich or poor, not slave or free, man or women, gay or straight. All can know God, all can be saved. This is the fundamental of my faith. This is why I am a Christian. And if that isn't religious, I don't know what is.

So, what are you going to do about getting the true meaning of Christ's love out into the world?

OPP Post #2 - Hands-On and Hills

I love doing hands-on work. As much as I enjoy meetings and committees (that's not sarcasm, I really do!), I love being on the ground. And last week I got the opportunity to help in a Drop In, based out of Central Methodist Church, Preston. The Drop In was a re-imagining of a soup kitchen, where those who have very little, the homeless and the lonely can come in, have curry, jacket potatoes, soup, toast and hot drinks, and have a chat. It was great to meet some of the volunteers who are serving the Lord through practical ways.
 

I had a really interesting chat with one of the volunteers, a really friendly guy who is the de facto 'second in command' of the Drop In. He is a care worker by day, and helps with the Drop In twice a week. He told me that he doesn't really enjoy his work, but loves the work he does alongside Christians. And he told me that he's an atheist. This really touched me, we don't have the same religious beliefs, but for him there is something special about being with Christians, serving others. And I think that he is a real blessing, and is doing God's work, even though he doesn't see it that way. (An aside, He told everyone I was an assassin when I told him I studied International Politics and the Intelligence Services.)

I also got to help with a youth group, filling in for another volunteer who couldn't be there. I was tasked with cooking the pizzas, which is a good use of my talents I guess, but also enjoyed chatting with them. And then on Saturday, I helped with Insync (the Lancashire District Synod Youth Forum), where we were looking at the District's policy, encouraging them to get involved and share their views, which will be fed back to the District Policy Committee. It was interesting talking about how the Church needs to take risks, try new things, and be prepared to accept that some things fail, but they aren't a waste, they are learning experiences. I would also like to thank Lancashire District for allowing me to represent them at Methodist Conference this year, its and important year for many reasons, and I'm glad I'll be part of the discussions in London in July. (And sorry to my Line Manager, who now has to work out how this fits with my Training Weekend, but he did say that I could stand!)

At the top of Pendle Hill

After Synod, Girlfriend and I joined a number of others, led by Rev Stephen Poxon (District Chair) on a walk up Pendle Hill. This was part of the Lancashire Year of Prayer, in which Stephen is walking around the District visiting every Church. Pendle Hill is famous for two, very different things. On one hand, it is linked with witches, being the Site of the Pendle Witch Trials, on the other hand, it is where George Fox, the founder of the Quaker movement, received a vision from God. It is a pretty steep climb, even more so when you are having to half drag your girlfriend up. When we made it to the top, we shared a prayer and a few hymns, which I found very moving. And the views were amazing, you can see almost the whole of Lancashire, rolling hills, and the sea in the distance. I can see why George Fox had a vision from God there! I was wearing my One Programme t-shirt, and got talking to a women wearing a fluffy tiara at the top about what I did, something I wasn't really expecting.

It was a very exciting week, and I'm looking forward to doing some more 'on the ground' work over the next

year.

 

Worship on Pendle Hill

OPP Post #1 - Many New Beginnings

 I haven't blogged for so long, mainly because I've not had any ideas for blogs that have really inspired me. But now I have a reason to blog, and am going to attempt to blog at least fortnightly.

Since my last post, an awful lot has changed. I have one and a half new jobs, and am living at the other end of the country. I feel I should explain.

I am now an One Programme Participant, or OPP. This is part of the Methodist Church's Youth Participation Strategy. I, along with 16 other young people across the country, am going a 'year on', an internship. My placement is with Methodist Action North West. Yep, North West. I now live in Lancashire. Methodist Action is a charity that works to support people facing poverty and homelessness in the North West. It's an amazing organisation, and I am set to have a very eye opening year. I'm going to be getting a flavour of all the work they do, from drop in centres to social housing projects, and trying to inspire young people to volunteer. I hope this blog will act as a record of that year. I look forward to reading these posts back this time next year, seeing how I've changed. (*wave to future Matt*).

The first weekend of September was the first OPP weekend, where I met the 16 other OPPs, who are great people. We have a real range, from 16 to (almost) 24; English, Welsh and Scottish (Northern Ireland isn't part of the Methodist Church of Great Britain); Conservative Christians, Liberal Christians and some who wouldn't class themselves as Christian. A couple of them are also blogging their years, I'll put the links at the bottom of this post. We had some great chats over the weekend, a lot of fun, and a good amount of Methodist Geekery (which made me very happy). I am looking forward to seeing them all in October.

So that is the one new job. The half is the fact that I have just transferred to the Pizza Hut in Preston, which is a little strange, because it is very similar to the Cribbs Hut, but also quite different. But it felt strangely good to be back in the black shirt, giving people pizza.

The other really big change is that, for now, I am sharing a house with my girlfriend. It's quite an experience after almost 4 years living 170 miles apart. And it's going well, I like having someone to make me breakfast, and someone to do the washing up for.

Well, I feel I'm rambling now, so I'll wrap this up. But before I go, can I ask you a favour? If you are so inclinded, please pray for me and the other OPPs, that we have a successful and fulfilling year. 

Thanks, you're awesome!

Others Blogs

Hayley Moss - Methodist Youth President

James Adams - Based in Stoke

Glen Reid - Based in Ashton-under-Lyne